bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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