so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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