You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
