she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
