is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
