who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
