I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
