I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
