you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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