Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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