He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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