I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
