Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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