last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
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It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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