you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
