God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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