she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
