I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
