just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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