I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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