he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
