But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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