First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
