i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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