I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
