Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
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