community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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