I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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