Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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