Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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