1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
