I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
