I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
