awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I love you. Go after that dick
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize