I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
