We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
