I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
