I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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