Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
