Swine flu. Run for my life!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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