Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
