He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
