I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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