Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
