OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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