only if we run a train.
done.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
