I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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