Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
