so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
