everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
