I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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