Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
we should paint friendship bongs
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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