For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
