I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
