I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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