i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
