What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
